I personally believe most of us who are into spirituality and metaphysics are on the introverted side -- we're typically sensitive souls who enjoy peace, quiet, solitude, deep conversation and pondering the mysteries of life.
Additionally, many (though not all) introverts are also empaths, which means we absorb energies around us. While this makes us intuitively gifted, it also causes us to be very sensitive and to take on others' "stuff" -- another reason we not only want but require ample time alone just to feel clear and grounded.
Extraverts get an energy boost from interacting with others (which is why they love socializing), but the opposite happens with empathic introverts: for us, peace & solitude recharge our batteries while encounters with others - even a brief chat - often causes an energy loss. Of course this isn't always the case with every person we meet, but it happens often enough for us to be very selective about who we interact with. Most extraverts don't realize that for empathic introverts, withdrawal only means we're just trying to keep our energy balanced; we're not shy or stuck-up, we're just doing what we need to do to feel good.
Also, I'm sure you'll appreciate the following books - they have certainly changed my life for the better and I highly recommend them: Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life is Your Hidden Strength by Laurie Helgo, and Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World the Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain
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In Summary...
If you're an introvert feeling misunderstood and out of place in an extroverted society, I urge you to read these books to know loud and clear that 1) there is nothing wrong with you, 2) you are not alone, and 3) you are indeed a thoughtful, perceptive, gifted and interesting person!
If you're an extrovert, I also urge you read these books to gain insight and empathy for how introverts work. Please don't conclude we are weird, boring, depressed, etc just because we prefer solitude, quiet and deep conversation to crowds and noisy chit-chat. We just have a different way of experiencing life, and it works for us.
Unfortunately, in western societies (USA in particular)
extraversion is considered the ideal. The message sent loud and clear
from our educational system, social events, seminars,
the corporate world, and even TV sitcoms & reality shows is that interesting, successful people are
talkative and gregarious, love the spotlight and have active social lives. If however, you
are a quiet, sensitive loner you are somehow lacking as a person.
For
me, as an introverted artist, there has been no sweeter pleasure than
to spend hours or days alone crafting art, reading, thinking, taking
long walks, etc - basically tuning in and traveling far & wide in my
inner world. In solitude (or with 1 or 2 like-minded friends) I feel
wonderful; but in large noisy groups I can't even think let alone carry
on an interesting conversation with anyone.
Because of this,
I've been called weird, boring, timid, shy, weak, spacey, stuck-up, a
mouse, and too serious; yet when I avoided socializing I've been called
unfriendly, stuck up and "no fun". So frustrating since I am none of these things! Unfortunately, extraverts seldom get it, and it's amazing what they
read into someone who's quiet or simply wants to be alone.
Additionally, many (though not all) introverts are also empaths, which means we absorb energies around us. While this makes us intuitively gifted, it also causes us to be very sensitive and to take on others' "stuff" -- another reason we not only want but require ample time alone just to feel clear and grounded.
Extraverts get an energy boost from interacting with others (which is why they love socializing), but the opposite happens with empathic introverts: for us, peace & solitude recharge our batteries while encounters with others - even a brief chat - often causes an energy loss. Of course this isn't always the case with every person we meet, but it happens often enough for us to be very selective about who we interact with. Most extraverts don't realize that for empathic introverts, withdrawal only means we're just trying to keep our energy balanced; we're not shy or stuck-up, we're just doing what we need to do to feel good.
If you can relate to any of this, let me state for the record: there is nothing wrong with you for being who you are!!!
You are a special person with your own unique way of experiencing life.
Furthermore, your introversion is the key to your personal talents and
abilities, and where you can make the biggest difference in the world. So be proud of it!
Also, I'm sure you'll appreciate the following books - they have certainly changed my life for the better and I highly recommend them: Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life is Your Hidden Strength by Laurie Helgo, and Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World the Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain
***********************************************************************************************
by Laurie Helgo
Rich with insights, advice and empowering perspectives, Introvert Power presents introversion in an entirely positive light, instead of a weakness to be overcome. The introvert's way of thinking and communicating as well as why we thrive in peace and solitude are explained rationally. Also presented is the important contribution we make to society - a real self-esteem booster for any introvert feeling inadequate in an extroverted society.
Some of the empowering insights presented include:
-Introverts comprise over half the population, instead of the typical assumption we are on the fringe
Rich with insights, advice and empowering perspectives, Introvert Power presents introversion in an entirely positive light, instead of a weakness to be overcome. The introvert's way of thinking and communicating as well as why we thrive in peace and solitude are explained rationally. Also presented is the important contribution we make to society - a real self-esteem booster for any introvert feeling inadequate in an extroverted society.
Some of the empowering insights presented include:
-Introverts comprise over half the population, instead of the typical assumption we are on the fringe
-It's been scientifically proven that introvert
brains are busier and get easily overstimulated, which is why we seek quiet time and need
to retreat to our inner world. Extrovert brains, conversely, are quieter (nothing to do with intelligence), which is why they seek external
stimuli by creating a rich outer/social world
-"[Introverts] gain energy and power through inner reflection, and get more excited by ideas than by external activities."
-Introverts contribute so much to society! When you look around at the world, notice technical innovations, captivating novels and artistic creations - these are most likely products of introverts
The book also contains:
-Strategies for handling parties, dealing with the work world (chatty co-workers, meetings, etc), and declining invitations by being tactfully honest
-Insights for no longer apologizing for introversion, and accepting and embracing the gifts it offers
...and so much more
Personally, thanks to Introvert Power, I can now appreciate my gifts, draw strength from my inner world, and finally understand the way I am. I feel free to take time for myself and be alone. I also feel confident being quiet in groups and declining invitations. This book has truly changed my life and I highly recommend it.
******************************
-"[Introverts] gain energy and power through inner reflection, and get more excited by ideas than by external activities."
-Introverts contribute so much to society! When you look around at the world, notice technical innovations, captivating novels and artistic creations - these are most likely products of introverts
The book also contains:
-Strategies for handling parties, dealing with the work world (chatty co-workers, meetings, etc), and declining invitations by being tactfully honest
-Insights for no longer apologizing for introversion, and accepting and embracing the gifts it offers
...and so much more
Personally, thanks to Introvert Power, I can now appreciate my gifts, draw strength from my inner world, and finally understand the way I am. I feel free to take time for myself and be alone. I also feel confident being quiet in groups and declining invitations. This book has truly changed my life and I highly recommend it.
******************************
by Susan Cain
Outstanding best-seller which covers topics such as:
- Why, in most parts of the world, we consider extroversion the ideal. This wasn't always the case; centuries ago people
valued qualities like honesty, hard work, kindness, trustworthiness,
etc over the "sociable salesperson" that came into being in the 20th
century.
- How self-help gurus and groups contribute to believing we have to be extroverted to be successful
-
How collaboration often kills creativity; i.e. working in solitude to
solve problems produces better results than everyone throwing ideas on
the table.
- How introverts and extroverts think differently
-
How schools are set up to foster teamwork, instead of solitary
concentration, and how, for the introvert who can't think with others
chatting near them, it's difficult to do well in school.
- Leadership styles of introverts versus extroverts
- How introverts and extroverts can communicate with each other
-- and so much more
In Summary...
If you're an introvert feeling misunderstood and out of place in an extroverted society, I urge you to read these books to know loud and clear that 1) there is nothing wrong with you, 2) you are not alone, and 3) you are indeed a thoughtful, perceptive, gifted and interesting person!
If you're an extrovert, I also urge you read these books to gain insight and empathy for how introverts work. Please don't conclude we are weird, boring, depressed, etc just because we prefer solitude, quiet and deep conversation to crowds and noisy chit-chat. We just have a different way of experiencing life, and it works for us.
So celebrate who you are! :-)
"Quiet people have the loudest minds" -Stephen Hawking
.
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